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Elphick was an erratic and unreliable parent, frequently absent from his daughter’s young life.Kate remembers the awkwardness of family mealtimes: her mother Julia often seething with suppressed fury, her father babbling inanely to fill the frozen silences.‘There was no shouting, just an atmosphere, and even as a young child I could feel it,’ she says.He met her when he was 16 and she 18, and until she died of cancer, aged 50, in 1996, he remained devoted to her in his own peculiar way.‘There were numerous letters, and that’s putting it mildly, from women telling me he was an important part of their lives,’ she says. But I do know that Dad was a man who couldn’t say “no”, whether to women, to charities, or to another drink.‘And I also believe he genuinely cared about my mum, until the day she died.‘Even now, 11 years after Dad’s death, they’re still coming out of the woodwork saying, “Oh, but your father and me . .” ‘I’ve no idea what his relationship with these other women was. It wasn’t a conventional relationship, but Mum knew he was there. ’ Her voice trails off, unable quite to add the word ‘work’.
I remember hearing the word “alcoholic” and wondering if it applied to him.‘I have lots of positive, lovely memories, too.
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